City moving Mardi Gras
for Super Bowl

Shifting Easter and other holidays
seen as the most logical solution to scheduling problem

By James Cusimano

The Levee Oh My God writer

In an attempt to prevent a total meltdown of the city of New Orleans and its people, City Councilman Arnie Fielkow has introduced an emergency proposal to push back Mardi Gras Day from the Saints’ first Super Bowl.

Fielkow’s plan would put off Easter and, therefore, delay Mardi Gras Day at least three months, allowing reasonable time for “spiritual healing, medical treatment, and sobering up” after the big game.

The Saints-Colts Super Bowl is set for Feb. 7, and Mardi Gras is currently set for Feb. 16.

Fielkow, sporting a vintage Billy Kilmer Saints’ jersey, said during a news conference announcing the move that, “The council feels these two momentous events occurring this close to one another could literally cause the entire metropolitan area to tailspin into a debauched wasteland persisting into the fall of 2011.”

Mardi Gras Day, or Fat Tuesday, is the last day of the Mardi Gras Carnival season and falls on a different day each year. It is always 46 days before Easter. Mardi Gras season officially began on Twelfth Night, which occurs 12 days after Christmas, on Jan. 6.

New Orleans Archbishop Gregory Aymond, a New Orleans native, agreed with moving Easter.

“Easter’s every year,” he said. “This (the Saints in the Super Bowl) isn’t.”

City Public Works Director Robert Mendoza said that with the two events so close together all public services could come to a halt, as Entergy and Sewerage and Water Board employees would likely find themselves too crunked to work.

Other city bureaus are warning of possible repercussions of proceeding with the current Mardi Gras schedule.

The school board recently released an internal study showing that school closings would be rampant as administrators deal with the impossible task of extracting teachers not only from the karaoke stage at Cat’s Meow but the notorious balcony overlooking Bourbon Street.

Fielkow speculated that a shortage of fuel would likely hamper transportation as service stations address customers’ needs by replacing gasoline in regular, unleaded, and super-unleaded pumps with Bud Light, Bud, and Bud Ice.

Fielkow recommended pushing Mardi Gras back to the third Tuesday in May. That would mean Easter would take place sometime around July 4. Others have suggested the possibility of combining the Resurrection with Cinco de Mayo.

In anticipation, Pinata manufacturers in California already have begun ordering Peeps and Cadbury Eggs.

The proposal suggests moving Fourth of July to October, two weeks before Parents Day, which would combine Mothers and Fathers days to try and balance the holiday schedule.

Labor Day would be cancelled, and the Jerry Lewis Telethon would air on Columbus Day weekend in late November.

Halloween would take place on Dec. 2, Thanksgiving on Dec. 9, and Christmas would fall on Jan. 15. Fielkow said Hanukkah would be unaffected, and premature Christmas decoration of malls and the playing of Christmas music on Magic 101.9 will still begin Nov. 1.

New Year’s Eve would be Feb. 2, 2011, which, conveniently, is the day before the Chinese New Year.

Fielkow said there are still a few logistical details to be worked out before Feb. 16, specifically where to stick St. Patrick’s Day, Kwanza, and Arbor Day, but city council members eased fears, acknowledging that whatever version is finally passed, bankers will still have more days off than anyone.

Return to the cover page

Share - View comments - Post a comment - Subscribe to The Levee