WDSU unveils third Mackel

TV station to boast more Mackels than others combined

By ChaCha Pitoulas

The Levee media triplets writer

The Mackels, from left, Travers or Fletcher, Flevers, and Fletcher or Travers. The Levee has learned that there is no telling how many of them are out there.

WDSU Television executives this week announced that the station will be replacing veteran weatherman Dan Milham with a previously undisclosed identical Mackel sibling, Flevers.

The move will give the NBC affiliate three identical newsmen.

“By joining Fletcher and Travers on our award-winning news team, Flevers (pronounced FLEE-VERS) ensures that we have the most Mackel coverage in the Gulf South, possibly anywhere,” station manager Martin Guillot said.

Preliminary reports indicate that Flevers may be the most talented Mackel sibling, combining the hard-hitting approach of investigative reporter Travers with the folksy appeal of sports anchor Fletcher.

In conjunction with the move, WDSU has changed its slogan from “We’re Building WDSU Around You” to “Count our Mackels, baby!”

Station officials hope the newest Mackel will redefine local weather coverage. Reports indicate that Flevers intends to create – rather than merely predict – area weather and plans to replace Milham’s “DARN” weather scale with a nightly tally of his sexual conquests.

“Flevers Mackel does not need the SuperDoppler,” Flevers said, although it may have been Travers or possibly Fletcher. “When Flevers says it’s time to rain, then Flevers will make it rain.”

Upon hearing that a new Mackel would occupy the chief meteorologist position at WDSU, the National
Hurricane Center cancelled the remainder of hurricane season and reduced its 2009 Atlantic hurricane season forecast from 7 storms to “such storms as Flevers Mackel may desire.”

WDSU has vehemently denied allegations Flevers was actually produced in a top-secret cloning experiment in the one of the station’s underground labs on Howard Avenue.

“We categorically deny these ridiculous allegations,” Guillot said. “And we look forward to the June 2009 unveiling of Sparkles Mackel and Scooter Mackel, who will handle features and traffic, respectively.”

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